Energy Vampires ~ How to Set Boundaries
Energy vampires are individuals that feed off your energy for a variety of reasons. It is very, very important to set boundaries with Energy Vampires. Let’s go over the three types of Energy Vampires. Also, let’s talk about what you can do to stop being drained and to start regaining your energy.
Type 1 ~ The Stranger
This type of Energy Vampire, the Stranger, is the simplest to set boundaries with. There are a multitude of reasons as to why a stranger might drain you of your energy. You could casually pass by them on a day they are feeling depleted and want to feel better. That simple want, aka intention, will pull supportive energy from sources around them. If you are near them, that source could very well be you, and it can drain you.
There is a simple fix with this type of Energy Vampire, and that simple fix is called GCP (Ground, Clear, Protect ~ see the link below to watch a free training video on GCP). When you do GCP, you are creating a protective filter for your energetic body. That filter is set with the intent of your highest good. It will know if you have energy to spare to help them or if you need to contain your current energy levels.
As a result of doing GCP you will find activities that once drained you now no longer do. With more strength in your energetic body, you have more ability to support a stranger and stay balanced, even if that is a simple smile and hello.
Type 2 ~ The Friend
The Energy Vampire that falls into the friend or acquaintance category is one that takes a little more conversation and effort when setting boundaries. It is still possible to balance your connection with this person, but it takes a little more than a simple GCP.
A friend or acquaintance will fall into the Energy Vampire category when they consistently have problems that they refuse to fix. They don’t work on healing their wounds or taking steps toward improving their life. Instead, they rely on you to raise their vibration and make them feel better. Over time, this becomes significantly more draining and in some cases, absolutely frustrating.
If you find yourself in this situation, it is time to take a step back from time spent engaging with this Energy Vampire. Recognize your energy and time are spent to keep them afloat while they show no interest in working on healing their own situation.
** Important note – this does NOT apply to all friends and acquaintances. There are many times when someone we love is struggling. Sometimes they have a period of time where they just need an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on. Always support that individual to the best of your ability until they are able to support themselves once again. Energy Vampires are individuals who NEVER support themselves. **
Setting boundaries with a friend or acquaintance means having a difficult conversation with them. It means letting them know you will need to reduce the time you will spend with them. I always advise approaching it with your personal truth, that you need to take some time to take care of yourself right now. Beyond that, it’s a matter of deciding how much time you can devote, and then sticking to that boundary.
Type 3 ~ The Partner
An Energy Vampire that is your life partner is one of the most difficult Energy Vampires you will deal with in your lifetime. The commitment to a partnership intensifies the symptoms you will experience. There are some significant signs you can look for in your relationship to let you know if you are being drained.
Partners who are Energy Vampires are typically manipulative. The manipulation is very subtle. Over time, you will find yourself in more and more of an energetic survival mode. If you find you are crying almost daily and your self-esteem is low, you might be in the presence of an Energy Vampire. If you are walking on eggshells around them, fearful on a regular basis that you will upset them, you are most likely in a relationship with an Energy Vampire.
When a partner behaves as an Energy Vampire, they do so through manipulation. They will emotionally raise you up and cut you down on a repeat basis. This roller coaster process is done because the Energy Vampire needs to “feel” your love and your connection through your reactions.
This is not a healthy balance and one that should be taken very seriously. Having your energy drained like this on a regular basis can be very detrimental to your well-being. With that said, boundary setting for this type of relationship should not be taken lightly.
How to Set Boundaries With a Partner Who is an Energy Vampire
If you are not ready to leave or set a strong boundary, then take some time to witness your relationship from an observer’s point of view. Work at finding moments where you can pull back from the emotions. Moments where you can take a more objective view and really observe what your partner says and does. Allow yourself to see and hear it from a distance, not in the heat of the moment, but from a few steps back.
This process is helpful because you are consciously stepping out of survival mode to observe their behavior. When you do this, you will get more understanding of the situation you are experiencing. When you remove the emotional chaos out of the moment, even for a minute, you are stepping into a stronger position. You step into a position of more clarity that will help you make the decisions you need to make.
Significant consequences are a reality for many in this type of situation. However, future consequences are not set in stone. Do not let future fears stop you from taking steps to take care of yourself. Set boundaries when you are ready, safe, and supported. Look ahead in the future and create, with your imagination, what a wonderful day would look like for yourself. Keep that vision in the forefront of your mind. That, with the now deeper clarity of their behavior, you will begin to see the steps you need to take to set the boundary that is best for you.
When You Take Care of Yourself You Can Take Care of Others
Those who struggle with Energy Vampires are typically beautiful souls that are giving, compassionate, and loving. These traits are what the Energy Vampires are looking for. These traits are a beautiful part of you. Now is the time to honor that beautiful part of yourself and also take steps to protect it when needed. When you do, you will be energetically stronger. In the end, you will be more able to give to others the way your heart truly wishes to give.
Diagnosis of Energy Vampires
There are many psychological disorders that can come with what we call an Energy Vampire. For that, I will leave it to the mental health professionals. Here, I share this with you, so you can take a good look at your spiritual energy levels. Take a moment to sit with your life force and see if you need to set some boundaries on your spiritual path.
Support is Key With Energy Vampires
If you are reading this and find that you are in one of these situations, find support outside of the situation as soon as you can. Find a supportive community, a therapist, a friend you can trust. You are important. You are beautiful. And you deserve to be seen, heard, and loved.
Click here to learn more about our supportive spiritual community, The SAGE Circle
GCP ~ Free training video included in the free course The Top Five Intuitive Tools
Read More ~ Searching for Sanity